


Here For You

by woshuwoo



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: CrankGameplays - Freeform, Depression, Ethan Nestor - Freeform, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, No pronouns used for Reader, Other, again not specifically romantic but can very much be read that way, ethan just wants to help, reader is having a hard time, wow another ethan fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 20:53:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10772235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woshuwoo/pseuds/woshuwoo
Summary: Everyone could use a friend to help them through hard times.-Reader is depressed and having an episode and Ethan just wants them to be okay.





	Here For You

It was like the entire world around you had shifted into grey-scale. Nothing seemed bright enough or cheery enough. It was all just so… bleak. You couldn’t tell exactly what had started it this time, perhaps it was nothing at all, but it made you feel so empty, so weighed down. You didn’t know what to do. It was like all the light and color had been sucked out of your life and you’d been plunged into darkness. You thought maybe you should be used to this by now, but it felt even more new and horrible every time . Everything just felt so hopeless and you didn’t know how to fix it.

Breathing out deeply, you turned to you side and hugged your pillow closer to you. It was different than sadness in a way you couldn’t describe and it made you feel completely alone. You don’t know how long you laid there staring at the wall, but the sudden burst of of noise from your phone made you jump. It was like you weren’t in control of your body and it took you a few minutes to even get your arm up to reach for it. You moved like you were made of lead, weighed down and slow. You squinted at the bright light of the screen, letting your eyes adjust for a few seconds before you could read the message.

Ethan: I’m finally free! Omw back with pizza. You better be up for a god damn party

Oh. Ethan, your roommate, had been away for a few days. Three? You think… Some huge project he and his team were working on. You liked them, they seemed nice but you didn’t really think they’d warmed up to you yet. You’d only moved out a few months ago, leaving behind the town where both you and Ethan had grown up. Maybe they just needed time. As much as you loved Ethan, the thought of having to do anything, even just getting out of bed, made your body feel heavier and your stomach hurt. You wanted to answer him, but no suitable response came to mind so you shut off your phone and turned over. Maybe you’d just pretend to be asleep when he got back.

It made you feel a little gross and more than a little like a terrible friend, but about half an hour later when the door banged open and invited in the explosion of noise that was your friend, your resolve hardened. Closing your eyes and pulling your blankets up higher, you cringed a bit when he called out for you. Maybe you could just try and pretend for a few hours. You’d done it before. But no, he’d see right through you, and then he’d ask what was wrong and you wouldn't even be able to tell him because you didn’t know yourself.

You could hear him bustling about the apartment, putting his things away and humming. Usually it would make you smile, but today the noise just made you feel small and sad.You hunched your shoulders up higher when there was a soft tap on the door.

“Hey Y/N? Are you busy? I’ve got pizza. It even has pineapple on it since it’s just us!” You could hear the smile in his voice and somehow that made you feel worse. You started to tear up, but just clenched your eyes a little harder.

“Y/N?” He sounded concerned now. God, you were such an ass. The sound of your bedroom door cracking open made you tense. Oh no please don’t do that Ethan.

“Y/N? Hey re you okay?”

You stayed silent, hoping he’d just go so you could wallow in your own emptiness alone.

“I’m not an idiot, Y/N. I know you’re awake.”

Fuck. You sighed, feeling stupid for thinking you could fool him. He had an eye for these things and you’d known each other so long it was probably second nature to pick up on habits.

“I… Eth, I just really want to be alone right now, okay?”

You could practically hear his eyebrows furrowing as he shifted his feet, trying to decide whether to stay or go. “Is everything alright? You're not….” He trailed off but you knew what he meant. Ethan was perfectly aware of the weird things your brain did to you. He’d been there to help countless times.

You hesitated before answering. “...No. I’m fine, really.”

“Please don’t lie to me, Y/N. You know I only want to help.” He sounded so upset that something in your chest snapped. You turned to face him, still clutching your pillow and keeping your eyes downcast.

“I’m okay, I promise. I just… I don’t know. Go relax, Eth. You’ve been working for days.”

Ethan pushed farther into the room until he was standing in front of you. “You know I can’t do that if you’re like this. I worry.” He nudged you over while setting the box of pizza he’d been about to bring to you on the bedside table. Reluctantly, you moved over as he pulled himself up to sit next to you. “You don’t have to lie. I’m here for you, you know that. C’mere.” He opened his arms and you moved to lay your head on his shoulder while he put his arm around you. It was nice, familiar. 

“You’re gonna be okay. You know that, right? This won’t last forever.” He rubbed your shoulder gently with his thumb as you tried to concentrate on his words.

“It feels like it will. I don’t understand why this is happening, Ethan.”

Ethan sighed, hugging you to his side. “I know. It’s not your fault, Y/N. I know it’s hard, but it’s not your fault. I wish I could do something to help you, but I know I can’t control this. But you gotta stay with me, okay? You have to know you will get through this. And I’ll be right here with you any time you need help.”

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you pressed your face against Ethan’s chest. Kind words wouldn’t cure you, but it was nice to know someone cared. “Thank you, Eth.” You said, voice muffled and small.

Ethan smiled slightly, reaching down to grab your blanket and pull it over the both of you. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He said, hugging you again and rubbing soothing circles on your shoulder. He hesitated a second before pressing his lips to the top of your head in a light kiss and whispering “Love you.”

You gave a small, watery smile to the fabric of his shirt and breathed out a laugh. “Love you too, Eth.”

You're not sure how long you stayed there, but eventually you fell asleep. And when you woke up, still next to one of the best friends you'd ever had, still feeling warm and safe, you thought that maybe Ethan was right.

**Author's Note:**

> i was sad but you know who helps me be less sad? ethan. so i wrote a dang thing. (feedback also helps me be less sad sometimes just throwing that out there)


End file.
